Christian Teens and Dating?

 

Christian Teens and Dating?  | thedinogirlroars.wordpress.com #dating #teen #love #lust #kissing #christian

Christian dating is seemingly uncharted territory. Nobody talks about it, causing it to be filled with gray areas and confusion. Many questions can roar through your head: Does God want me to date him/her? Can we kiss? How much is too much? Is this love or lust?

In the world, dating is taken very lightly. Teens (even adults) get in relationships just because everyone is doing it. We hop on the bandwagon out of fear of being alone. As Christians, dating should be a whole different experience. We know that, if God calls us to marriage, then He has a special person in mind. Not just that single guy with facial hair, or the single girl with the high cheekbones. How do you know if God is nudging you to date someone or your if it is your own mind?

“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Bad company ruins good morals. In other words: You are who you surround yourself with, so choose carefully. This is not saying that you cannot be friends or socialize with unbelievers (see Mark 2:16-17), but in a relationship you must both have a heart for Jesus. This is crucial to a successful, God-made match.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

This verse goes along with latter. The person God has for you will know Jesus as his/her personal savior, as the Word tells us that we should not date/marry people who do not follow God. Do not think it is okay to date someone to lead them to Christ. You should both be solid in your faith before choosing to date each other.

The process of dating should be handled with care. Yes, dating is vastly different from marriage, but we should treat it with the same exclusiveness and finality that marriage possesses. Meaning if you do not see a future with someone, do not date them. You don’t plant a seed if you have no intent of nurturing it to maturity. If, in your time dating, God shows you that he/she isn’t the one you can end it safely, unlike in marriage where it is final.

Many Christian teens in relationships find themselves faced with the question: how much is too much? This question is usually born out of talk of kissing. Unfortunately, there is no one verse that says “Romantic kissing is okay before marriage.” Or “Romantic kissing is a big no-no before marriage.” So what are we to do? A good place to start is to sit down with your boy/girlfriend and lay out boundaries. But again this raises the question of where exactly should Godly teens draw the line in terms of physical affection.

Kissing in itself is not a sin. Kissing is referenced many times in the bible (ex. Luke 7:45) and is not a sinful act. It does, however, have the potential to to become wrong when combined with inherently sinful things. Lust is one of these things.

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” 1 John 2:16

“[A] very strong sexual desire” is the definition of lust. “An intense feeling of deep affection” defines love. See the difference? Lust is not from God, love is. We need to analyze what is going on through our minds when we kiss. Is it love, or is it lust? Talk to God about this and let Him guide you. Pray with your partner and talk about your feelings.

“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:14-15

Temptation is a very real point to consider when setting your boundaries. When we have Jesus, we have self control (2 Tim. 1:7). Then again, we are human. We slip. Temptation may be everywhere in our world, but there is no temptation we cannot overcome (1 Corinthians 10:13). Self control is something we need to take ahold of as Christians. We are not slaves to sin.

“That each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,” 1 Thessalonians 4:4

Do you have control over your own body? Or does sin? You may be quick to answer yes, of course you can control yourself. In truth, your brain is still developing. It is scientifically proven that it is harder for a teenager to make quick decisions than an adult. “[Adolescent’s] actions are guided more by the emotional and reactive amygdala and less by the thoughtful, logical frontal cortex.” says the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) . Purity pledges can easily slip to the back of our minds while engaging in a make-out session. It can be oh-so tempting to do something you will likely regret. The bible tells us to abstain from sex until marriage (Hebrews 13:4) and to flee from temptation (2 Tim. 2:22), so why would we put ourselves in that situation?

Is kissing okay before marriage? There is still no solid answer. You will hear many different opinions but in truth it is between you, your partner, and God. Be armed with the abundant facts the bible holds. Take time to talk as a couple and create a list of physical boundaries and hold each other to it. Seeing that marriage and relationships are earthly (Matt. 22:30), you and your partner should be spiritual buddies first. Your main goal is to help one another with love and gentle instruction until our earthly lives have passed.

Be ever prayerful and always listen to that little voice inside you. It knows what’s right and what’s wrong. God bless.

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Loving with a 1 Corinthians Love

 

Loving with a 1 Corinthians Love | thedinogirlroars

 

God calls us to love. It’s stated a lot throughout the bible, but the most clear description of how we should love one another is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The verse uses many adjectives to describe what Godly love is and what Godly love isn’t. To get a better understanding of how God wants us to love others (boyfriends, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, etc.), we should break it down and look into the meaning of each key word in the verse. As you read these definitions, ask yourself: “Am I doing this? Am I not doing this? How can I love better?”

Love is patient

“The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.” is the Oxford definition of patience. Your patience will be tested so many times in any type of relationship. There will be arguments, difficulties, and plenty more that will require patience on both ends. From with all of the ups and downs life has, patience is a must.

Love is kind

“The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” is the definition of kindness according to the Oxford dictionary. This should be a given in any relationship, but even the best of us may forget to be friendly on bad days, or even during arguments. Kindness is something couples/friends/family should try to maintain even in rage. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”.

It does not envy

“A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.” defines envy. This tells us that we should not harbor jealousy over the things our significant other/parent/sibling/friend possesses. This could be a job, a grade, or a God given talent. God created us all uniquely with our own sort of specialness. Rather than being envious, we should encourage and love on them as they embrace this thing, whatever it may be.

It does not boast

“Showing excessive pride and self-satisfaction in one’s achievements, possessions, or abilities.” is the definition of boastfulness. As aforementioned, boastful is synonymous to prideful. The bible warns against pride in multiple verses (Proverbs 8:13, James 4:6, Proverbs 11:2). Without Jesus, we are nothing. Our only pride should be in Him. He is the only thing worth boasting about. This can affect relationships by creating unnecessary jealousy.

It is not proud

“Feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.” defines being proud. Being proud is very similar to being boastful. This tells us that in our love we should not be proud, but humble. We should feel honored that God blessed us with someone, not as though we deserved it. Excessive pride in any relationship is never good.

It does not dishonor others

“A state of shame or disgrace.” is the definition of dishonor. We should never bring dishonor upon those we love. This tells us we should only speak kindly of our partner/parent/sibling/friend. Highlight the best of him, don’t put his faults on display. Those are between him and God, not you and your friends.

It is not self-seeking

“Having concern for one’s own welfare and interests before those of others.” defines self-seeking. In a relationship, the other person’s opinion and wellbeing should be held just as high as yours. Think of them often, not just of yourself. Jesus was not self-seeking on the cross, and we should not be in our relationships.

It is not easily angered

“A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.” is the definition of anger. Anger is a strong, harmful emotion that should be kept at bay at all costs. This line tells us that Godly love is hard to anger or upset. Psalms 103:8 tells us “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”. We should follow His example, as always. When angry, always keep reign over your tongue.

It keeps no record of wrongs

“[To] act unjustly or dishonestly toward (someone).” defines wrongs. In our relationships, the past should stay in the past. We are human and we make mistakes, but those past mistakes should not be constantly dredged up to the present. If God can forgive and forget, why can’t we? Help this person to grow more everyday in Christ.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth

“Profoundly immoral and wicked.” defines evil. “The quality or state of being true.” defines truth. Godly love does not take pleasure in doing wrong or evil, but delights over the trueness of the Word. The world gives us many temptations that may seem wonderful in our eyes, but they are actually filled with evil. Pray together for discernment and help each other to stay strong and not fall into Satan’s traps.

It always protects

“Keep safe from harm or injury.” is the definition of protect. Jesus protected us from eternal damnation when he died in our place on the cross. We can help protect those we love spiritually by offering bible-based advice, or physically should the need ever arise. When we love someone, protecting that person is instinctual.

Always trusts

“Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.” defines trust. Trust is a staple in a good relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic. It’s hard to confide in someone you can’t trust. Work on build trust with your friends and family.

Always hopes

“A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.” is the definition of hope. In love there is always hope. We hope for our friends to be the best version of themselves they can be. We should put that hope into action and pray over them daily.

Always perseveres

“Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.” defines persevere. No matter how difficult life may get, we are called to love with a love that endures it all. Jesus persevered for us on the cross all of those years ago. Sticking by your friend when everything else seems to be against them is sometimes the kindest thing you can do.

After reading the book definitions of these words, I realized that I may not be loving with the Godly love I should be. God reprimands us because he is our Father; He loves us and wants us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Maybe God nudged you about your patience. Maybe it was your trust. Maybe it was nothing at all. We can always learn to love a little better. Thankfully, we have the best Role Model we could ask for.

Purity Of Mind

 

The importance of purity of mind. #Christianity #WWJD #Spiritual

One of the biggest difficulties of being a teenage Christian is staying godly, even when everyone at school speaks profanity like a second language. Some days, as you go to school you may feel like Daniel in the lion’s den. Your first instinct to survive in the fight against the “lions” in your school may be to become one. We need to learn to stand firm in our faith and to never conform the ways of the world. When it comes to the language used by those of the world, we have to hold strong in our resolve to have not only pure words but pure minds.

“Set your mind on the things of above, not on the things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2

The book of Colossians tells us that we should not only speak words that have a positive connotation but that our thoughts should follow the same wavelength. Our minds should be on godly things, not earthly things. We should monitor not only our words but our thoughts.

“He went on: what comes out of a person is what defiles them.” Mark 7:20

These are the words of Jesus. We are disciples of Him (Matthew 28:19), and to bring more to the faith, we must be living examples of Him. People should be able to tell you are a Christian by your demeanor. If you heard a person telling a dirty joke, would your first thought be that they were a Christian? Probably not. This is why we need to be more like Jesus.

“Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.”        1 John 2:6

1 John 2:6 tells us we are called to be like Jesus. Ask yourself how you can be more like our Father each day. Spend time in prayer and be sensitive to His Holy Spirit. Let God lead you and show you how he wishes you to live your life.

Some additional verses on the subject:

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“Be imitations of me, as I am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children.” Ephesians 5:1

“If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left.” Hebrews 10:26

 

What to do When You Miss Your Boyfriend

How to deal with missing your man in 4 simple steps. #dating #missing #him #boyfriend

It can be rough when someone you are used to seeing on a regular basis goes away. Whether it be a vacation, for school, or a mission trip, their absence feels odd. Here are 4 ways to keep sane while your boyfriend is away.

  1. Keep Occupied

During the time of day that is usually devoted to your love, find something to keep you busy. Listen to some music, write a poem for him, go for a run, or simply read. The possibilities are endless!

2. Keep In Touch

Although constant contact isn’t likely, a few texts here and there cannot hurt. And don’t forget, he misses you, too! He will want to keep in touch. At the end of the day, make time for a phone call. Sometimes hearing his voice will ease the heart ache.

3. Hang Out With Friends

With bae away, make time for the girls in your life. Host a sleepover, and you will be sure to have a blast whilst gorging yourself on chips and laughter.

4. Plan Your Reunion

When your boyfriend returns, plan something special for him. A special date can take many forms; roller skating, dinner, or a day at the park. Whatever it may be, it will be a special day for you both.

Camp NaNoWriMo

I am very excited about July this year. I am going to 2 camps… one out of state and on right at my computer. The literal camp is a week long Christian teen camp that I absolutely adore. My first time attending was last year, and it was phenomenal and life changing and just hands down amazing. I will write more about that once it happens.

The second camp is virtual and a favorite of writers. It is called “Camp NaNoWriMo”. It is a challenge to write a book over the month of July. There is also just NaNoWriMo which takes place in November. I am working on the same project as last year. My WIP is currently titled Self InflictedHere is the synopsis I have written:

16-year-old Teagan Lotte was raped by her boyfriend and believes it is her fault when she ends up pregnant. After assuming her parents won’t accept her, she runs away. Getting off at the wrong bus stop leaves Teagan stranded in an odd place called Peoria, Illinois. Living in secret inside of a church basement, Teagan discovers a few things about Christianity, and herself, that she never knew. Stuck between two boys and two completely different worlds, Teagan must make a choice. But she can’t choose just for herself anymore. The clock is ticking and her baby is coming.

The goal of my story is to be both YA Fiction and Christian Fiction. This way my story will have a wider audience and reach a whole different group of people with the Word. My current word count rests at 21,035 words. Obviously, I still have a long way to go. My goal for NaNoWriMo is to write 30,000 words, which means 968 words every day. I am very excited about this work and I am so excited about camp!

Dinos

You’re probably curious about the name of this blog. I would be too. Well, let’s just say I have a thing for dinosaurs, and this is a place where I can ‘roar’. I can say what I want. Speak my mind. Be me. A blog is like a public diary. And I have loved dinosaurs since freshman year. I can honestly tell you that I have no idea why I just suddenly fell in love with these prehistoric, scaly creatures. But I can tell you that I got a ton of plastic dinosaurs for my 15th birthday, and that my collection has been growing ever since.

For most of freshman year, I had 3 little plastic dinosaurs that I kept in my jacket pocket. I don’t where I found them… probably on my brother’s floor. And I don’t know why I put them in my pocket and never took them out. Well actually I did take them out. Quite often. When ever school got boring I would take them out and line them on my desk or hand. And did I mention they’re all named? The first one is brown and his name is Edmund. The second is yellow and his name is Smithworth. The third is gray and his name is Mercutio. Later on I found a forth, a purple little guy, and named him Benvolio. My latest addition to the squad, as I refer to them, is Cassius, a mint green fellow. And that is not even getting into my collection of larger plastic dinos that sit in my room.

A photo I sent to my sister on SnapChat

I will be the first to admit I am weird. So judge me if you will. I’m the Dino Girl, and welcome to my blog. 🙂